The last few years in my life have been filled with uncertainty, loss, depression, and loneliness. I decided recently that it was time to reclaim my life. Those feelings had made me a different person … and it was time for a change. It is time to reclaim my life and be happy and live again!
I found my ‘encouragement’ in a place I never expected to and this person will never know how he has changed my life, but I will thank him endlessly. His passion for dance and to teach dance is infectious. And so dear man, tonight I danced and thank you just doesn’t seem like enough.
Yeah .. HIM!! ;)
I was nervous all day .. not the ‘sick’ nerves .. but the excited nerves. I told some close friends at work what I was going to do and they were so excited. They said, “this will be perfect for you, this is just what you need.”
When I got to the Fred Astaire Dance Studio, couples were gathering for the group lesson. I felt a little insecure as I was there alone, but I held my head high and walked to the front desk. I told the girl who I was, she gave me the paperwork to fill out and when I returned it she said.. “Oh great we have been expecting you and Carlos is looking forward to meeting you.” I confided in her that I was very nervous but was excited at the same time. She offered a gentle smile and took my hand and said ‘you will be fine, my brother will take good care of you.” Her brother was Carlos, “my Columbian”. ;)
Carlos approached me and took my hands and looked me straight in the eye and lead me to a table along the wall of the dance floor. He asked me about myself and why I was there. I told him I was here to reclaim my joy and to have some fun and learn to dance. He smiled gently and then proceeded to explain what was about to happen. We had a lovely conversation and then he took my hand and said... Let’s dance.
Let me preface by saying I was a little concerned before I went in that I would have a short dance instructor … LOL. I am a 5’11” gal and my only real concern going into the experience was that I would tower over my instructor. My concern was not to be... Carlos was just my height. Thank God!! lol
Once we settled onto the dance floor in front of the mirror, he told me we would start with 3 dances tonight .. foxtrot, rumba, and swing. He said not to worry .. no lifts or leaps tonight. Well that gave me a giggle and made me relax a bit. We started with the foxtrot without the music and then with .. he held my hands gently and looked me in eyes as he encouraged me with every step. The foxtrot went well and then we moved to the rumba .. my favorite I think! ;) He asked at one point if I was sure I had not done this before and I assured him I had not. But he was so wonderful and encouraging and at one point I noticed that I had no nerves and I could feel the smile across my face and my heart was so full. The last dance of the lesson was the swing .. this one was a little difficult for me to get at first .. a little faster and took a little more time, but I got it .. I think .. LOL. He then said, “Ok ... now just don’t pay attention to me and keep going, I am going to add in some turns, but you keep doing the same thing.” Fear crept in again but I was able to work it out. He was again extremely encouraging and gentle. I love “my Columbian”.
And so the first lesson came to an end. We scheduled my next lesson and he told me he had a lot of fun with me and looked forward to seeing me again. As I approached the desk to check out, his sister said, “Well you look very happy. You are glowing. Didn’t I tell you?” I smiled and said yes but she had no idea what had really happened to me within that hour.
I let go tonight. I opened up to a new experience and found that I loved it. I walked out of the dance studio feeling more alive than I had in 2 years. I could feel it spread through me … a joy that I had not known in a long time … if ever.
And so again I thank the person that introduced me to the joy of dance. Mr. Chmerkovskiy, you said once that you weren’t really the ‘encouraging type’, but I will respectfully disagree. Tonight your passion for dance led me to the floor. I am just beginning but I am already looking forward to what is next.
I dance again next week, but the journey to change has already begun.
Tonight .. I am alive again. Tonight .. I found joy again. Tonight … I found a smile that was buried all too deep within me. Tonight … I found me again.
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